Is email really prone to misunderstanding?

posted by Nathan Zeldes on March 03, 2007

How often have you read that email is of necessity conducive to misunderstandings, because of the lack of body language and voice inflection cues? That emoticons may help a little, but of course, there’s only so much they can do?

Here’s something to think about: Email doesn’t cause misunderstandings. People cause misunderstandings. They can do this in email, on the telephone, or face to face; especially when they don’t bother to put their brain in gear before engaging their mouth – or before hitting “Send”.

The truth of the matter is, it is entirely possible to communicate effectively and civilly via email, even in delicate situations. And no, it isn’t about emoticons, though sometimes those can help defuse a tense situation; it is primarily about the long-lost liberal art of crafting a letter, of expressing oneself in writing with clarity. Of course, one needn’t bother when answering a simple query; but every few days you need to create an email that will negotiate a situation that involves conflict, disagreement, or another sensitivity. In these delicate situations, I recommend two rules that work fine for me.

Rule number one is to take your time. Write your message with great care, then save a draft and return to it later. I rewrite important mails over and over; and if the message I’m replying to has caused me anger I literally sleep over the whole thing; the next day’s version of the response is almost always calmer, more civilized, and – most important – more effective in achieving the goal at hand.

Rule number two is to read the message you’re writing through its recipient’s eyes. This calls for empathy and sensitivity: how will this phrase be interpreted by her? Does that joke come across well in his culture? Is there anything about our respective positions in the hierarchy that will make this sentence seem haughty, or rude, or inappropriate? Spare no effort here: every word can make or break communications, every phrase can encourage friendship or enmity. Even whether to start with “Hi” or “Hello”, whether to put “Thanks” in the first line or “Thank you” in the closing, whether to end with “Cheers” or “Regards”, and of course whether to use the first name, last name, honorific, or any combination of them in the salutation. It all matters. You should also try to predict the recipient’s likely bandwidth with respect to yourself. Will a management summary help him? Will he prefer a very short message, to save his time, or are you important enough to him that he’ll be willing to read more details?…

If you follow these rules, you will find that email is not all that bad for creating understanding. In fact, it has one major advantage: you can rewrite it as many times as you want before sending it, until it is just perfect for its job; whereas spoken conversation, alas, is subject to gaffes that can never be undone.

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tagged: email, etiquette